All I Want for My Birthday

Today is my 32nd birthday. I feel strangely disinterested in this fact because it truly feels like every other day. When did my birthday stop being my special day and start being like every.other.day in my life? The answer isn't surprising... when I became a mom.

During my first few years of motherhood, I think I expected the annual funfest to continue for me. I soon realized that this wasn't a possibility when I was still being asked to change diapers and make meals and clean up messes when I would have rather been relaxing or seeing a movie or dining out with my man.

The kids try. They really, really do. They want my birthday to be fun and exciting for them. Sissy just handed me a beautiful homemade card with a $20 bill inside. I graciously thanked her and told her to keep her money for something she wanted. She seemed relieved. Chancho just threw half-eaten apple at me as he exclaimed, "birpday!" Bubby is still asleep (lucky).

Even Big A, who knows me better than anyone, seems to not know me at all when it comes to gifts and celebrations. Last year, I made it clear to him that all I wanted for my birthday was a gift card to buy some outfits for church. I wrote down my wish on a piece of paper and reminded him several times, to which he replied, "I get it. You want a gift card to buy clothes for church." When my birthday rolled around, he presented me with... a desk chair. Maybe the store was out of gift cards and he decided to buy the largest item possible?

Last night, I pre-planned for today. I balanced the checkbook, washed and folded several loads of laundry and even emptied the dishwasher. With everything in place, I headed to bed. There is nothing better than waking up to a tidied house, especially on my birthday, and as I drifted off to sleep, I smiled at the peaceful morning that awaited me. However, the cleanliness of my kitchen really didn't make a difference when I was awakened at 5:30 am to find Chancho's binky, then again at 6:30 to look for his blankie. At this point, I surrendered.

Since I know today will be like any other day, I thought I'd make a list of what I'd really want for my birthday, if someone actually asked and listened.

- Two more hours in the day. Ha. Wouldn't that be nice? During those two hours, I would walk on the treadmill, take a long, uninterrupted shower, shave my legs and have a real quiet time with the Lord.

- No fighting. This is also my Christmas wish, Valentine's wish, Easter wish and Memorial Day wish. Try as they might, the kids can't seem to do this for me. My favorite defensive remark on this topic came from Sissy at Christmastime. "If I don't fight with Bubby first, he will try to fight with me."

- A laptop with wireless Internet connection. I know, I know - big-ticket item. But I spend most of my Internet time in fear of what Chancho is getting into. As soon as I sit at the computer desk, he disappears. I'll later find him surrounded by wet Q-tips, piles of diaper wipes, or any assortment of beauty products, Lego’s, gumballs, etc. If I could only be online while sitting next to him. Rather than purchase a laptop, I'm sure Big A would suggest that I'm not online so much. But that's just not realistic.

- A week of no meal planning or grocery shopping. This is actually my lifelong dream. I would love for Big A to make a meal plan, go through the sales flyers and shop for groceries for a week. I wouldn't even mind cooking what's on his menu if he did all of the legwork. Unfortunately, Big A seems to hate grocery stores and thinking of dinner ideas, so I'm sure this is a pipedream. But I'll continue to pray that one week, I won't have to set foot in Walmart or Giant Eagle.

- A good picture of me. Why am I the only one who can ever take a picture in this house? I'm always grabbing the camera when the kids do something cute or when they're playing happily. But no one ever takes pictures of me (except for the embarrassing dressing room shots that Sissy took with my camera phone last year, which reminds me that I should apologize to my mother-in-law for what she saw when she borrowed my phone). I'd like one good picture, either with the kids or with Big A, that I can proudly put on the mantle. I want it to be perfect, but not look posed and I want to look 10 pounds lighter and about five years younger. Is that really too much to ask?

A girl can dream, right? Now I'm off to wake Bubby up to see what he has in store for me today. Maybe he'll let me watch him while he plays the Wii... you know, because it's my special day and all.