One of the most important lessons I want to teach my children is to always be truthful, even when it's not pleasant. That's why what I'm about to confess is especially shameful for me. Unfortunately, I've compromised my beliefs this week and I must get it off my chest.
Sissy, my beautiful 5-year-old daughter, needs glasses. She inherited my husband's family's bad eyesight, so since August, she's been wearing cute purple glasses for reading, school, church and watching TV. What once started out as a fashion statement has become a chore for her. She's always misplacing her glasses or just conveniently "forgetting" to put them on when we leave the house. She didn't wear them over the entire Christmas break so last week I wanted her to get into the habit of keeping them on because school was starting today.
Of course, she wasn't having that.
"I don't think I need glasses anymore. I can see just fine," she said.
"Okay Sissy. How many fingers am I holding up?" asked Andrew, holding up four fingers.
"Four," she replied.
"No, I'm holding up five. You do need glasses. You couldn't see the last finger," he said as he quickly put up an extra finger to make five.
After a little more arguing, I pulled out the last weapon in my mommy arsenal.
"Sissy, if you don't wear your glasses, you're going to have to get an eye operation someday to fix your eyes," I said with a sigh. I knew I shouldn't have said it, but I was out of options.
Now Sissy hates all things bloody and will literally cry for an hour over any speck on her body that resembles an injury, regardless of whether she's in pain or not. This is the girl who begged to get her ears pierced then begged me not to make her get them pierced when we arrived at the store (like I was forcing her).
I could see the wheels of her brain turning. She was panic-stricken. "I have to get my glasses," she said in desperation. There, I thought, mission accomplished.
However, the mission had only begun. For the next several hours, Sissy had many questions about her pending surgical procedure.
"How do they get your eyeball out to operate on it?"
"When they put it back in, will it fall out if you jump around?"
"How will I see if my eyeball has stitches on it?"
And on and on.
While I may have won the battle, I think I lost the war. She is now scared to death of a fictional eye operation and will probably never take her glasses off again. I can just hear her telling her school friends about the perils of not wearing your glasses at all times. I shudder to think of them telling their moms and their moms thinking I'm nuts.
All because I lied.
The lying didn't start there, if I'm being truthful (which I am, at the moment). I've routinely been lying to Chancho about a "guy" in the laundry room. Despite having a child-safety knob on the door, he manages to find a way in each day. So one morning, as I was re-folding the clean clothes that he had just dumped out, I said, "We better go. The guy will get us."
I'm not sure what "guy" Chancho is so afraid of, but he high-tailed it out of the laundry room. Now each time he aims for the door, all I have to say is, "Oh no! The guy." and Chancho runs away. This has also worked at the grocery store when he's trying to escape the shopping cart ("Oh no! The guy!") and the doctor's office when he's trying to escape the exam room ("Oh no! The guy!") and church when he's trying to escape the toddler room ("Oh no! The guy!"). Technically I'm not really lying. I'm just repeating a silly, made-up phrase over and over as I gasp! for emphasis. I'm guessing Chancho will be the child of mine who needs the most therapy since he'll probably be afraid of all men and never leave his house.
Even though Sissy needs to wear her glasses and Chancho needs to stop escaping every situation, I know that falsifying information to them is still not acceptable. One of my goals for this new year is to find more creative ways to parent so I don't have to resort to negative behavior like lying. Because if there's one thing I know for sure: "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord." And for me, that is more motivation than "the guy."
Kristy, I laughed so hard reading this one. Yes lying is wrong and we shouldn't do it, but don't be too hard on yourself. There are worse things we could be doing as parents. How do you know for sure you were lying anyway? Sissy could need eye surgery if she doesn't wear her glasses and how do you explain where all the socks go if there isn't a guy in the laundry room?
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